Suffragettes were really cool you guys. Although I cannot lie to my beloved public, most of the stuff referenced here is an allusion to British suffragettes, because they were off the hook.

To some of you, I am sure, happy first day of school! I am included in this list, and I am actually kind of nervous because I have been out of school for over two years now and oh my god what if the other kids make fun of my Avengers lunchbox? What if I get shoved in a locker or called Josie Grossie? What if some freshmen steal my underwear and charge people a dollar to see them in the boys bathroom? What if I fail history for saying that Ceasar was a salad dressing, dude, and the only way I can make up the grade is to collect historical figures in a time travelling phone booth in order to put together an excellent oral presentation?!

Actually, that last one doesn’t sound so bad. Wish me luck!